Have you ever wondered what the world would be like if we each raised our kids to discover and respect themselves as individuals, engage in exploratory pursuits and meaningful conversations, and express themselves in whatever way matters to them?
No, this isn’t going to be a rant about media, technology, or the wacky self-images promoted by advertising and “reality” TV!
Instead, what if we began at birth teaching our kids that they are valuable, unique human beings with a splendid reason for being alive right now at this time? What if we made it clear that it was OK to be unique and not follow the crowd? What if we taught them that living their individual lives to the fullest was the greatest gift they could give human kind? What if we filled their heads with possibilities instead of fears, rules, and limitations?
This week, Jodi and I have been musing on the Soulmate Lifestyle - What is it and what does someone living it look like. As we thought about the qualities and characteristics we think apply, it struck me that many of us as adults are still trying to learn to view ourselves in this way and adopt these habits. Would that still be true if they had been part of our lives and encouraged from babyhood? Would we be different? Would the world?
Then a text arrived from my younger daughter with a photo entitled “Doodle in the Noodles.” It was of my 7-month-old grandson (the apple of my eye just in case you were wondering!) playing in a tub of noodles. For over 20 minutes – an eternity for that age – he single-mindedly explored every aspect of those noodles. He stared. He squished. He adorned himself. He was fascinated by the texture and taste. And she simply allowed him to explore at his own pace in his own way.
And that’s when it struck me – living the Soulmate Lifestyle is mainly about it being OK to simply be who you are and letting others be who they are. It is about learning to respect each other and how we choose to be ourselves, warts and all. And maybe, for those of us who weren’t raised in that magical place of pure acceptance, it’s about helping each other find our best selves now, living lightly and respectfully on the planet and with each other.
Jodi and I did come up with a list of what we think a Soulmate Lifestyle looks like...
What Is the Soulmate Lifestyle and What Does Someone Living It Look Like?
1. It is based on the premise that The Giver becomes the Receiver in all aspects of life. For example: If you want to receive love, you first give love starting with loving and caring for yourself. If you want a healthy body, you give good nutrition, exercise, sleep, and mindfulness. If you want good finances, you give focused work, clear goals, and work-smarter on-target actions.
2. Whatever they give, they strive to give freely, with no strings attached or expectations of specific returns. They understand the true meaning of reciprocity.
3. They live their entire life remembering that we are all One and our experiences of each other are actually experiencing the different aspects of our One interconnected Soul. Therefore, they conduct themselves in all areas of their life from that perspective. They shop and go to church or yoga and work with that in mind.
4. They believe that whatever you do for others you are also doing for yourself and everyone.
5. They believe a little Golden Rule goes a long way.
6. It is a holistic lifestyle that weaves together all major areas of life – work/school, home life, spiritual life, relationships (romantic and nonromantic), leisure, even shopping and fashion. The goal is to have all aspects of life in alignment and balance with each other.
7. They believe it is important to make a difference in their career and understand that they can do that whether they are a CPA or a spiritual teacher. How you conduct yourself makes the difference.
8. When shopping, they tend to gravitate towards green businesses and social enterprises, though they do not necessarily limit themselves to only those types of businesses.
9. They actively practice gratitude, happiness, and forgiveness.
10. They tend to support causes that tug at their heartstrings and that they believe will make a difference even in the life of one person.
11. Their biggest perceived problem is living up to their own expectations. They tend to always be striving to be better, do better, and can sometimes be hard on themselves.
12. They ask deep searching questions about Life and Relationships and believe they are ready for the answers.
13. They may suffer if they think other people do not live up to their expectations or the other person’s potential. They sometimes set high standards for everyone and struggle with what they think others “should” do and the unforgiveness that can accompany those “shoulds.”
14. When they break up – or are broken up with – they try to be kind and compassionate regardless of what kind of relationship is ending. They try to find the good that had been in the relationship and carry that forward rather than anger, bitterness, or hatred.
15. They try to be good stewards of their resources – time, talent, money. They are not stingy or cheap, but are everyday people. They may splurge mindfully, but feel no need to buy expensive things just for bragging rights.
16. They are of any religion or no religion at all.
What do you think? What does living the Soulmate Lifestyle mean to you?
Anne Wade is Teacher, Writer, Mentor, and Coach for courageous women in midlife and beyond who want to disrupt their own status quo and design life on their own terms, even in turbulent times. She has developed the Becoming Found process of going within to find and address the inner barriers we have all inadvertently built up against love, happiness, health, wealth and any other desires of our hearts. Teaching women to unapologetically shine like a superstar and live their legacy is Anne’s mission.
You can follow her on her Facebook page “Anne Wade – Becoming found” or join her “Becoming Found” Facebook group.