There’s a gap between who we want to be and what we want to do. Inside that gap is a thousand versions of ourselves that don’t quite fit.
We experience that gap as Imposter Syndrome, and bridging it, sometimes moment by moment, is vital to our ongoing process of connecting with the true self we know is inside. Noticing that gap is a priceless gift pointing us to the truth of who we are.
Each of us has experienced that feeling of shooting too high, dreaming too much, or coming up short in some way. Our inner Self (our Beingness) knows that our desire is pure and strong. Our human self is full of doubt for a million reasons – some valid, most not.
The valid ones feel like beacons, encouraging us to keep learning and growing closer to the essence of who we are.
The invalid ones feel like getting beaten down, at least a little. They certainly don’t feel like catapults to rising in our essence.
I fully believe when we feel drawn towards doing something - whether it's writing a book, entering a relationship, losing weight, or making a career change - it's because that relationship or goal is wanting to come into being and inviting us to be its host human. It's eager to be real and can only do it with human help, OUR help.
So instead of putting all the pressure on ourselves to do whatever it is, we can look at it from the perspective of this thing that is asking us to be its "birth mother." It's remarkable what a relief that can be.
For me personally, what I want to do is ever evolving. That means, I’ve tried on a lot of hats; some I wanted to keep and others I didn’t, at least not for long.
In trying them on, I also tried to be the person who could comfortably wear them, but many just didn’t fit. In some cases, I loved the way they looked, but hated the way they felt.
All that trial-and-error of doing has let me experience multiple versions of me, a priceless gift. All those versions that haven’t fit are showing me who I am not and don’t want to be, which keeps bringing me closer and closer to simply being who I am and always knew myself to be.
The same will happen for you when you embrace the gap.
I haven’t “arrived” at all and never will, thank goodness. Neither will you. The process of be-coming is a process that lasts our entire life.
Experiencing Imposter Syndrome just means you are in a trial-and-error moment. It also means you get to choose:
DO what you think you are “supposed” to do, or avoid doing what you think you shouldn’t do – even if it’s because someone has told you should or shouldn’t.
BE yourself warts and all. Trip over your own feet. Fall down, get up, and do it again. Dance the trial-and-error with every imaginable version of yourself on your way to becoming exactly who you are.
Fall in love with the gap and with any imposter syndrome between you and whatever relationship or goal you desire.
Invite that book to write itself and let you be its scribe.
Invite that relationship to take a chance on you and let you take a chance on them.
Invite your ideal weight and health to partner up with your body so it has the strength and longevity to support you as you love up on your family and friends.
Invite that money that wants you to help it do more good in the world to trust you to be a good steward.
Loving the gap takes the pressure off. And better yet, you are inviting that moment, task, goal, or relationship to say what it wants to say and be what it wants to be so it can do what it's coming to do.
Your Self thanks you.
Anne Wade is Teacher, Writer, Mentor, and Coach for courageous women in midlife and beyond who want to disrupt their own status quo and design life on their own terms, even in turbulent times. She has developed the Becoming Found process of going within to find and address the inner barriers we have all inadvertently built up against love, happiness, health, wealth and any other desires of our hearts. Teaching women to unapologetically shine like a superstar and live their legacy is Anne’s mission.
You can follow her on her Facebook page “Anne Wade – Becoming found” or join her “Becoming Found” Facebook group.