Reader Question: Do soulmates ever just walk away? I met a man who says he believes we are soulmates, but that he is just not ready to settle down and be in a relationship. He says he doesn't believe he will ever find another person he is as connected with, but he's just not ready. Can soulmates just walk away or is destiny involved?
How very wise, kind, and courageous of this man to recognize he is not ready.
We All Are Human Soulmates
When we hear the word “soulmates,” nearly all of us think of a deeply-connected romantic partner. Yet the truth is soulmates come together for many reasons, only one of which is romantic love. Underlying everything we think about soulmates is a bigger picture, one that begins with unconditional non-romantic love including the love to set someone free.
Soulmates play a much more significant role in our lives than most of us have been taught. Each and every person who shows up in your life, “good” or “bad,” whether they stay for a long-term relationship or only make a brief appearance, is a soulmate. How do you know? They bumped into you in some way, and like a cosmic game of billiards that bumping altered your course in some way. The stranger on the street who brightened your day with a random smile, the boyfriend who dumped you clearing the way for you to find your true love, the parent who nurtured you, the parent who taunted you, the pet who stayed true through thick and thin, the gal pal you can call at 2:00 am, the gal pal who stole your boyfriend and your favorite dress. They are soulmates, one and all, fulfilling the true purpose of soulmates which is to assist us in our awakening and guide us toward our ultimate reunion with Source. Each person we “bump into” in life affects us in some way. That is what souls in human form do for one another. Romantic love is only one way to experience the soulmate relationship, yet every soulmate encounter helps prepare us for that ultimate love.
Destiny vs. Free Will
Even though soulmates agreed before birth to assist each other in this life (destiny), once they are born as humans a new element enters the picture – free will. Our awakening and reunion only has value if it is the result of free will – our own and those we encounter.
When soulmates of all kinds meet, anything that still needs healing WILL come up between them. Some will be ready. Others will feel unready and believe they still have personal work to do (or more wild oats to sow) in order to be fully present and participatory in a soul-oriented relationship. Some will be afraid to be that connected with another no matter how badly they may crave it. Still others will feel ready and eager only to be rocked by the healing opportunities that present themselves. In each case, your job is to love unconditionally. When we know to expect that, we can be better prepared to observe and learn and to lovingly let go if necessary.
Should I wait?
Will he come back? Who knows. Allow him to do whatever he feels he needs to do, then go on with your own life, doing what is best for you, welcoming love wherever it appears. If he comes back, you will both be more ready. If not, trust that you will meet someone who is ready.
No matter what the outcome, forgiving him and you is the most important aspect of this encounter.
True forgiveness has three phases:
1. Cut the cords that ensnare you. Release the other person from what they did and yourself from the feelings you are carrying as a result.
2. Allow yourself to feel completely neutral about what happened. It happened and it’s over, in the past, and it’s OK for it to stay there. Don't dredge it up. When it bubbles to surface in thought or conversation, acknowledge it and gently but firmly change the subject.
3. Find something, anything from the experience to be grateful about.
Forgiving clears the path to the love you really want. Because the good news is we can have many soulmates.
Finding it hard to forgive? Claim your free Forgiveness Guide.
Anne Wade is Teacher, Writer, Mentor, and Coach for courageous women in midlife and beyond who want to disrupt their own status quo and design life on their own terms, even in turbulent times. She has developed the Becoming Found process of going within to find and address the inner barriers we have all inadvertently built up against love, happiness, health, wealth and any other desires of our hearts. Teaching women to unapologetically shine like a superstar and live their legacy is Anne’s mission.
You can follow her on her Facebook page “Anne Wade – Becoming found” or join her “Becoming Found” Facebook group.