REGISTRATION IS OPEN
Doors Open August 2020
TO TAKE CHARGE OF YOUR STORY
AND DESIGN YOUR LIFE
ON YOUR OWN TERMS
IT’S TIME TO SHED THE EXPECTATIONS, DISAPPOINMENTS, DETOURS,
AND ALLOW YOURSELF TO FINALLY
BE EXACTLY WHO YOU ARE
Becoming Found is a process designed to help women just like you transform your life story and define what comes next on your own terms.
It’s a process designed to create lasting change, not just another temporary fix.
We’ve been hoodwinked into thinking we have to go “out there” and find our true self – our purpose – as if our real selves were hiding somewhere.
Turns out, our true self isn’t “out there” at all. Our true self has always been inside patiently waiting to Become Found again.
It’s been hidden behind the barriers we built up in self-defense. Buried under the accumulated weight of living. Distracted by the roles we’ve taken on – wife, mother, employee, daughter, friend, and all the rest. Weighed down by the hurts and disappointments we’ve experienced, the burdens we’ve carried, and the stories we’ve told ourselves about who we are and what everything means.
Our True Self has been waiting for us to look inside and see what’s been waiting all along. Like Dorothy, we’ve always had the power and there’s no place like home.
We are not lost (even if we sometimes feel that way) and do not need to go out there searching. Instead, we need to tune inward and find our way to home to original wholeness and love.
Life teaches us to build barriers in self-defense without ever telling us we are only disconnecting from ourselves. We learn to play parts so we can fit in. We curl up in a defensive armored ball like an armadillo or bristle our offensive quills like a porcupine, both in misguided attempts to protect the Self that is becoming more and more tender and secret.
Then along comes some tipping point:
Enough is enough.
You want more and you’re ready to make it happen.
You want your life and your work to matter.
You want to feel alive, vibrant, purposeful, and FREE.
You want to contribute to the world in a meaningful way.
You believe there’s a reason you’re here now…
Even if you don’t know exactly what it is
You know there’s more to you than your roles and responsibilities….
Even if you love them.
You want relationships that feel like kindred spirits.
You want a career – or retirement – that lights you up.
You want to be free from self-doubts, worries, and fears.
We are bombarded with messages that say it’s too late, it’s all over, the world is crashing and taking us with it. You’ve lost your chance. Fear it! Fight it!
But you want to tip in the other direction TOWARDS something of YOUR choice.
And just like that, you’ve become a woman who has DECIDED.
Because somewhere deep inside you a voice is whispering
or maybe shouting,
“Was that it? Was that really all there was?”
And you realize that voice is you.
YOU SAY you are ready to be unleashed without all the constraints.
YOU SAY you have much more living to do and this time by design, on purpose. YOUR purpose.
YOU SAY it’s time to turn your desires and dreams into you reality.
YOU SAY you get to decide when to change careers or stop working.
YOU SAY you believe love can be found or reignited at any age.
YOU SAY you intend to remain healthy and vibrant in your own way.
YOU SAY you aren’t lost even if you have temporarily lost your way.
YOU SAY it’s time to address the potholes and speedbumps messing with your way.
YOU SAY your creative juices are simmering more than ever and want to bubble over.
YOU SAY you want to matter. You want your life to matter. You want your work to matter.
YOU SAY there is no time like NOW to finally take command.
YOU SAY this is YOUR time.
Change is the elephant in the room, but does it have to be?
A woman goes through many transitions in her life. Two of the most significant are puberty and menopause.
Maybe it’s time for a second puberty. A new and exciting time of self-discovery and reinvention. One that we get to define on our own terms this time. Are we really dried up, stuck like old gum on the bottom of a shoe? Or are we finding new succulence? Is this tipping point, this moment that sometimes feels like crisis and others feels like awakening awareness, an ending or a new beginning?
What of it’s an opportunity for birthing our true selves, maybe for the first time?
You are at a new beginning, not an ending. Evolving roles and responsibilities mean you are freed, not washed up. Hurts, disappointments, and even difficult circumstances can become a catapult instead of a death sentence. Every single thing that has happened in your life has been a step closer to exactly who you are, who you were born to be.
Traditional advice doesn’t offer a way to tend or cultivate the woman inside. It doesn’t consider who you are, what your experiences have been, or how your experiences have shaped you.
Traditional advice would have you believe there is a one-size-fits-all solution and it’s not a good one.
You need a solution that guides you, but isn’t cookie cutter. You need a solution that fits YOU or you won’t do it. You might have good intentions, but if it doesn’t feel like you can tailor it to you, it won’t happen. Or you’ll give it a try, but give up.
Let’s talk about a different approach, a do-over for birthing yourself.
Notice I didn’t ask what your purpose is or if you know what to do with it. This is a simple Yes or No. Do you believe we are all born with a purpose? That YOU were born with a purpose? That there is a reason you are alive now in this time, in this body?
Then answer me this:
If you were born with a purpose, wouldn’t it stand to reason that you were also born with whatever you needed to accomplish that mission?
Let that sink in…
So where did those ablities and that mindset go?
The answer is they haven’t gone anywhere, though they may be in hiding. They’ve gotten buried and are waiting to Become Found again.
Tipping points and rebirth are a powerful combination.
One day, you wake up and realize that you really do have a huge heart… and have been nurturing everyone’s life but your own.
You have given unlimited second chances to so many people… and carried all of the weight for everyone on your own shoulders.
You have allowed your boundaries to be breached… believing that you had no choice or were being kind. Maybe you were told that tending your own boundaries was somehow selfish.
You know you want to live more fully…but feel stagnant and unsatisfied.
You have somehow allowed joy and contentment to be sucked out of you… and realize you are the one who left that door open.
You KNOW there could be more in store for you and are not willing to accept that you’ve missed your chance.
You can feel yourself suffocating even if everything looks good on the outside. Sometimes you wonder of you ae the one holding the pillow to your nose.
You want a new perspective.
You want to say YES to your own priorities, the things that matter to you most.
You wants to reimagine your desires and define fulfillment for yourself.
You want to realign your personal priorities to feed your innermost desires instead of squishing your desires to fit someone else’s rules.
You want to regain confidence, even if you’ve forgotten what that felt like.
You want to reignite your joy in living. Or feel it for the first time.
You want to feel like you still matter.
You want to feel belongingness, wholeness, and love.
You want to have it all on your own terms.
You know that is the most loving way to live
no matter what anybody else says.
If you recognize any of these challenges, you are one of the strong women, the ones brave enough to define even courage on your own terms.
By the way, I no longer believe being brave means “feeling the fear and doing it anyway.”
I believe being brave is recognizing that you can only find yourself by not abandoning yourself.
Being brave means being willing to begin within and become found by your true self, the woman you were born to be even if life has given you a bumpy path.
Being brave means finally being true to yourself, resisting the pressure to please others.
Being brave means finding YOUR voice and taking charge of YOUR story.
Being brave means deciding to define YOUR life on your own terms. That is the bravest, kindest, and most loving thing any of us can do.
This is your invitation to join me to
design your life on purpose – together!
We are the Ones We’ve Been Looking For
This is no cookie cutter solution. We’ll each define our own individual ideal life, infused with the wisdom of our own unique experiences and the collective wisdom of our shared womanhood. You aren’t sure you have any wisdom? We’ll help you find it! We’ll excavate the layers of our lives, digging for the gold that is guaranteed to be there. We’ll define and design with ease and without the hang ups, guilt, not-knowing-what-to-do, fear of repercussions, or feeling selfish.
Transitions have nothing to do with any specific circumstance or age (though any of them may be a catalyst), and everything to do with building a bridge from where you are now to where you’d prefer to be. That bridge is the key to everything. How you build it is the difference between a strong bridge you can dance across into a vibrant next chapter, or a wobbly one that crashes into the chasm below. The strong bridge is constructed of all the pieces of you, even the ones that have felt weak or broken in their moment. The wobbly bridge tries to leave something out – something embarrassing, painful, or frightening. All your pieces are necessary and were always meant to serve you. Now, finally, you’ll see how to purposely fit them together.
The step-by-step process of Becoming Found is filled with tools, guidance, and support designed to facilitate new ways of thinking and new habits to strengthen them. You’ll end up with a fresh perspective – feeling rewired, refreshed, and ready to be exactly who you’ve always known (or hoped) yourself to be.
Better yet, it’s always your choice. There’s work to be done and you’ll be supported every step of the way in doing it, but ultimately your design will be your own. If you are looking for a magical one-size-fits-all script to follow so you can avoid or skip over doing the work, this may not be for you.
Compassion, humor, acceptance, connection, nudging (but never shoving), respect, kindness, and honesty are all woven into the fabric of our community.
This community is for women supporting women, a village for Life.
You’re tired of what the mainstream says about how a woman “should” live her life or you wouldn’t be reading this.
- Picture your life as a bowl, big and strong enough to contain everything that has ever happened in your life. It’s time to admire its capacity to hold everything.
- The bowl is cracked, badly in places. You see those cracks and think the bowl is broken, weak, without ever noticing that the cracks have been filled with gold and jewels. It’s time to see the cracks as a thing of strength and beauty.
- You see that the cracks are all connected. You fear the web of cracks could cause everything to crumble, forgetting that they could just as easily form a net to hold everything your life could ever contain. It’s time to fall in love with the cracks.
- You begin to see the bowl as a container that holds much and still has room for more. How do you want to fill it? What do you want to keep out? What are you willing to let in? It’s time to decide when to say YES …and how to say NO.
When situations are avoided or left unaddressed, they fester. That’s happening on the inside, but we often think it as happening on the outside. As Fate. As circumstances. As other people. As something being done to us.
In reality, the festering is a part of you is locked away inside with your own guilt, shame, doubts, fears, embarrassment, blame, or burdens. Hiding from it and looking outward for reasons or blame means you are not living by your own choices, your own design, your own decisions.
If you don’t decide for yourself, life will do it for you.
You each come into this sisterhood with individual hopes and goals, but we all have one thing in common – We believe something CAN be different. You are NOT willing to give in or give up.
Write the rest of your story on your own terms!
Every story has two parts: The facts, and the stories we tell ourselves about what those facts mean.
What if you could reframe your story without changing the facts (since they can’t be changed anyway), and transform it into a springboard into your next act?
Becoming Found is for women ready to shift the meaning they have been taking from their stories and see themselves from a fresh perspective. Then rearranging those same pieces to form a better, more beautiful picture that supercharges the relationships and experiences you will create going forward.
The potential within Becoming Found is infinite.
What differences would you love to see in your life?
What would you love to feel better about – past, present, and future?
What changes would you love to create in your relationships with people, with your health, with your career, and even with your money?
Can you love yourself now exactly was you are and simultaneously love the You that is Becoming?
What does this mean for you?
- Old patterns that were built on being the “good girl,” on hiding your true Self, and on old role models are replaced with being respectfully seen and heard in both personal and professional relationships. Your emerging strength and clear concept of Self become your greatest asset.
- Doing the right thing or the expected thing at your own expense is replaced by confidently doing what is true and important to you, knowing that is your gateway to your purpose and your contribution to humanity.
- Feeling paralyzed or flustered when you face pushback over doing what is best for you eases into feeling more confident, centered, and composed.
- Feeling pressured or guilted by family, friends, and colleagues can be transformed into mutual respect. With your new self-confidence and self-respect plus supportive boundaries and habits, you can redefine your relationships. And if not, you can choose who to keep and who to let slip away.
- Feeling run over and undervalued because of assumptions about who you should be becomes knowing your worth and vibrantly rising above their tiny rulebooks.
- Fearing that being yourself will get you labeled as bitchy, selfish, or worse is replaced with a quiet inner knowingness that you are vibrant and needed. You are enough.
Navigating through life to your next act is not for the faint of heart. Much like teenage puberty, the path is littered with emotional, psychological, and spiritual rocks and thorns. But this time, you already know what’s waiting for you is worth it. Here is the short version of how it happened for me…
The Birth of Becoming Found, the Process
My life had reached a tipping and something had to change, only so much was at stake!
At the time, I was married with two lovely daughters. We lived a nice life in a nice house and had a nice business.
I was suffocating. And very angry at myself for my inability to feel satisfied.
Instead, I felt like something was missing. Not authentic. Not ME.
There was no one to talk with in that small town in the Deep South. So I experimented with just being what felt like Myself. It was not well-received.
At times, it felt like two people were living inside my body – me, the woman who did her best to fit in and do what as expected, and ME, the true self who knew I had been born for something else. I sort-of knew what it was in terms of life purpose and my own beingness, but didn’t know how to get there from here. Being alone inside myself with both me and ME was getting crowded and uncomfortable. Something had to change.
In my case, that led to leaving my marriage and taking my daughters on what we now realize was the adventure of a lifetime. But at the time…
Scary? Bumpy? Understatements! Let me have done some of that pioneering hard work for you.
We moved several times. My career evolved in completely unforeseen ways. I met so many people who were different from anyone I had ever known.
I fell down so many times it seemed like there could be nothing left to bruise or break. And yet, it always felt like it was going somewhere, even if I had no clue where.
Then in my 50s, I met the love of my life. By our third or fourth date, we were getting bombarded with questions – How did you meet? How did you know? But even more importantly – What did you do differently? Are there steps the rest of us can follow?
Unbeknownst to each other, my now-husband and I had both been doing inner work that made finding each other in real life possible. Here’s the irony – We had lived in the same smallish city for a number of years, but had never met. I owned a business and traveled a lot for both business and pleasure. He was a recently retired Marine with a Harley. Later, we realized we were often in the same place at the same time (beach, concerts), but never even “saw” each other. Focused in other directions, we were literally blind, even when what we wanted was right in front of us.
Did you catch that? Focused in other directions, we were literally blind, even when what we wanted was right in front of us.
When people began asking about clear definitive steps, I went looking for them. After all, teaching and training had been my entire career. I knew how to do this!
My husband and I had done it “by accident,’ but was it possible to do it on purpose? What had we done differently at that point in time given that there had been plenty of previous opportunities?
Four key questions emerged as the foundation for clear steps, but the questions alone were not the whole story.
Many of my training clients had been the operations and maintenance divisions of major industries. Working with engineers taught me something equally valuable – how to lay the groundwork and create systems for sustainable change. Instead of just a tangle of lovely interesting information and ideas, I had stumbled upon a way to put it to work consciously on my behalf.
What I personally love about Becoming Found is that it combines inner questioning that create shifts in mindset, beliefs, and self-talk with habits and systems to ensure they can flourish and remain sustainable. It’s a potent combination.
Inner Work + Systems = Sustainable Change and Results
Gradually, it occurred to me that this process could be good guidance for designing other parts of my life. I’m a firm believer in being my own guinea pig and using my own teachings, so I began applying the core questions and supportive habit-building everywhere – other relationships, health, career vs retirement, even my relationship with money which had a ton of baggage of its own.
I could design any outcome I wanted!
HERE’S WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU BECOME FOUND…
- You fall in love with yourself – maybe for the first time.
- You define what a fulfilling life means to YOU.
- You know when to say YES.
- You learn how to say NO
- You learn how to develop fulfilling relationships and improve the ones you have, starting with your relationship with yourself.
- You rebuild the infrastructure of your life with supportive habits and inner systems designed to fully support your true wishes and desires.
- You learn how to make decisions that keep you feeling strong, empowered, and clear.
- You learn to use your new tools and stay the course when outside expectations or demands for compromise conflict with your inner guidance system.
- You lovingly and firmly develop, tend, and sometimes repair your boundaries with yourself and others, discovering your own thresholds for standing firm and being flexible.
- You learn, and learn to habitually use, the love languages of giving, forgiveness, and gratitude.
- Your rebooted self-perspective, clarified desires, and boosted confidence will be your firm foundation for ensuring your next act serves you in every way.
- You’ll find your way back Home, becoming found by the inner YOU, and know how to unerringly find your way home again whenever you feel lost, overwhelmed, or confused.
This is no paint-by-numbers solution. The results you gain will be unique to you, your individual needs, and your desires.
Show up, do the work, participate in the community, allow yourself to be fully supported, and you’ll find what you need.
This is no paint-by-numbers solution. The results you gain will be unique to you, your individual needs, and your desires.
Show up, do the work, participate in the community, allow yourself to be fully supported, and you’ll find what you need.
Here’s what’s included:
- Nine Training Modules in Our Online Classroom
Each sequential module leads you through the next step in rethinking, reimagining, and redesigning your life on your terms, amplifying the things that are most important to you. What do you really want? Why do you want it? What does having it really represent to you? What hidden barriers have you built up against having it and where did they come from? What shifts in mindset, habits, and perspective would support what you really want? How can you reframe the story you are telling yourself while staying true to the facts?
The nine modules include everything you need to explore and implement the four core questions that emerged from my own desire to design my next act. They have changed my own life and are changing the lives of other women. I have lived it and witnessed it. The modules are structured to help you lay the foundation and prepare you to address the four core questions, then walk you through understanding them and show you how to apply them effectively in your own life.
The modules include a blend of video, audio, workbook, writings, and guided self-reflection to encourage, educate, challenge, excavate, redefine, apply, and design your new lifestyle.
- Live Training Workshops
Some things are best taught in person, so we’ll teach live in the group (Facebook live) or in zoom. These sessions will cover the core concepts, supporting material, and personal story reframing.
- Weekly Live Q&A Coaching Calls
Learning something new is great, but that’s just the first step. It can only be effective for you personally if you understand it and if it’s applied to your best advantage. Our Q & A calls are designed to answer your questions on a first-come first served basis. If you can’t make it live, you can submit your questions in advance. This is where you begin translating the process in ways that work best for you and support you. The calls are recorded and posted in the online classroom for replay.
- Weekly Spotlight Coaching
A personal favorite! Weekly live “spotlight” coaching sessions go beyond Q & A. They are your opportunity to get one-on-one coaching with me, learn from the questions and coaching of other members of the community, and also get the collective wisdom of the community.
Book an “appointment” during the weekly session to ask your specific questions, followed by total focus of the whole group on serving YOU. These Hive Mind sessions are like having a personal board of directors or mastermind group for your life. There’s nothing quite like it!
- Support in our Confidential Community
Conversation is one of the best ways to explore, learn, and grow together. Community and mutual support are an integral part of this program, and we all work hard to foster that. Our private Facebook group is our virtual village for sharing, connecting, and transforming – together. The more active you are in the community, the more you will get out of the program.
Why 9 months? That’s a long time!
This program is nine-months long by design. We are, after all, gestating and birthing the new Found YOU. The program is chock-full of everything you need, and paced so you have enough time to do the work, ask your questions, get the support you need, savor each step, and celebrate together.
It’s a commitment we are both making. Anything worth doing starts with commitment to the desired outcome.
- My commitment is to give you the best of what I’ve got so you can do what you’ve come here to do.
- Your commitment is to do the work without taking shortcuts, immerse yourself in the community, and stay focused on the prize. What happens here will serve you the rest of your life.
You’ve been on this road to Becoming Found your entire life, so nine months is really just a blink.
Yes, this work takes time and focus if we want it to sink in and create transformation from the inside out. This isn’t a quick fix, but it is the quickest way to reassemble all the pieces of your story as if they were jumbled puzzle pieces finally forming the intended image.
Yes, we will excavate your past, uncover hidden barriers and beliefs, and release any hold they have over you. When you see how they are connected to everything about where you are right now – the parts you like and the parts you don’t – you’ll be able to make deliberate decisions that support what you really want.
Yes, we will take the time to do this work to the best of our ability. It’s worth it. Period.
You won’t have to wait until the end of the program to begin feeling a new resolute freedom. It starts right at the beginning and grows as we move forward.
WHO THIS PROGRAM IS NOT FOR:
- If you are looking for scripts to follow or a one-size-fits-all plan to plug and play, then please pass this up. Scripts can be helpful in getting started, but are far too constricting to live by. They make you dependent on someone else’s idea of happiness and you’re searching for the freedom to be YOU. Instead, in Becoming Found you’ll find a framework for discovering your own words, your own stories, your own ideals, your own design… and the courage to live them. Guidance, not cookie cutter.
- If you are looking for magical pills or potions that require no effort from you and let you bypass the inner work, this isn’t for you. Yes, this takes work, but you will be guided and supported every step of the way. No one can do this for you, but that’s no reason to do it alone.
- If it’s too challenging to admit that what you’ve done so far hasn’t quite worked, you may not be ready quite yet. Stay in the public Facebook group, get yourself prepared, then join the inner circle of sisters whenever you are ready.
- If doing the work scares you to the point you’ll make excuses or try to get out of it, you aren’t likely to succeed. If doing it together with a small group of women who share your desires and focus excites you and is just the confidence-booster you need, then come on in.
THE FINE PRINT:
- Tuition for Becoming Found is non-refundable. That’s to encourage you to begin thinking immediately that this as an investment in YOU so you’ll stick with it, and to do some good deep work.
- There’s only one guarantee: If you do the work thoroughly, you will be well on your way to becoming your true self. It’s a lifestyle, not a destination. The other outcomes are based solely on you – what you need and want, how deep you are willing to go, how courageous you are willing to be, and the changes you are willing to make. No one will dictate any of that. The choice is always yours. Take what you learn and customize it to suit yourself best. Everyone arrives with different experiences and everyone has her own desired outcomes. My job is to teach, support, and encourage.
- I promise to show up with the best of what I’ve learned through my own training and life experience, and share it all with you. No holds barred.
- While there’s no telling what might arise on any given day, I can promise you compassionate yet tough coaching, humor, empathy, confidentiality, non-judgment, honesty, love, and kindness.
WON’T YOU JOIN ME?