Stories. We all have them. Our stories define us - for better…or not.
This is the story of me. And of you. Of each of us as individuals and of all of us together.
This is the story of how I came to understand the role our stories play in the reality of our lives. And how gaining a fresh perspective on our stories can change those realities in a way we get to define.
This is the story of realizing a simple yet profound truth – every story has two parts: The facts and the stories we tell ourselves about those facts. Stories of hope or woundedness. Stories of strength or oppression. Stories of owning our birthright or shrinking from it. All from the same facts.
One chapter of my story was called Soulmate Dance. In that chapter, I learned that the dance and the dancers are all One.
From a purely scientific perspective, everything in nature - oceans and mountains, whales and humans, roses and weeds, viruses and cures - is a collaborative dance of subatomic particles. A soulmate dance.
Soulmate Dance was a personal blog, the story of a 50-something woman and a 50-something man meeting, falling in love, and deciding to Skip the Light Fandango together. (It’s never too late for love!) Blending our stuff – lives, families, furniture, baggage, stories. That can get interesting. Bemused musings about being a bride and a grandma simultaneously.
It has been the story of being staggered by the beauty of women all around me dancing (and sometimes stumbling) through life – women who have lived and loved and laughed and cried, who have triumphed and suffered, who have soared and crashed and gotten up to live and love and laugh and cry some more.
And love. It has been the story of Becoming Found by love, returning to love, living love, nurturing love, keeping the love alive. Warts-and-all love - loving your beloveds, loving your beautiful lived-in body and face, loving your inquisitive and sometimes tangled mind.
The whole thing is definitely a Dance of Life, learning to flow together and not step on too many toes real or metaphorical. Each of us learning the steps and making up a few of our own.
Ultimately, Soulmate Dance became a lab to explore how our stories become the music of our lives.
From the beginning, people asked us how we found each other, how we knew, what had we done differently, and perhaps most importantly, were there steps they could follow.
So I began writing. Writing is how I explore what I think, feel, and believe. It is how I gather my thoughts into something meaningful. Writing quickly moved into teaching. We teach what we ourselves most want or need to learn. Teaching gently yet firmly requires us to ask deeper questions into who, what, why, and how. And look – it leads us right back to stories.
What emerged was a process I had been using unconsciously with myself and my clients.
It led me to realize and codify how we can all go about Becoming Found.
Anything we want and don’t yet have already exists for us just outside our comfort zone. We are continually being offered two choices:
- Grow our comfort zone
- Shrink what we want
If you have read this far, you are ready to join me in growing your comfort zone. To embrace the labor pains of birthing the real you, the You who has been inside you all along just waiting to Become Found again. The You who is aching to return to original love and wholeness.
Breaking free from our past, re-finding our voices, becoming free of self-doubt and self-judgment, balancing our ambitions with the expectations of others, becoming more courageous and confident.
All of these things start in the exact same place - Becoming Found.
Just so you know, I’m no guru or purist. Being an 80/20 kind of gal suits me just fine. That 20 percent fudge factor is there for two very important reasons: treating myself and forgiving myself.
Life and love are looking for you. Are you ready to become found?
Anne Wade is a seasoned training and organizational development consultant, formerly serving major industry and nonprofits as well as women entrepreneurs and executives. She holds an M. Ed. In learning theory and numerous certifications in the psychology of learning. She is a wife, mother, grandmother, sister, friend, colleague, writer, teacher, storyworker, and intrepid explorer.